Carried by a Promise

from “cover shoot” series by Dan Seguin

Here’s a short excerpt from the Intro­duc­tion to Car­ried by a Promise. I hope it  inspires you to explore  your own process of reflec­tion. Please feel free to send me your ideas and experience!

“This book is based on my diaries and fol­lows the thread of my life from my first meet­ing with Swami Radha in 1977 until she died in 1995. A spir­i­tual diary is such an essen­tial part of learn­ing. By look­ing back I have rec­og­nized the vic­to­ries, the dif­fi­cul­ties, the mis­takes, and how I learned. I can also see how the teach­ings Swami Radha gave me were woven into my life. Although I worked with her instruc­tions at the time, it is only now – through review­ing the diaries – that I rec­og­nize more clearly what she was doing and what she was encour­ag­ing me to do. Com­pil­ing this mem­oir was like look­ing into a mir­ror and see­ing who I am.
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The Mem­ory Bank from Yasod­hara Ashram on Vimeo.

from CHAPTER 3 THE DIAMOND IN THE LOTUS

Win­ter 1982

As I walk to the office to pay for the Yoga Devel­op­ment Course I have an emo­tional attack. I can’t do this! How can I look after the chil­dren and be involved in such an inten­sive three-month pro­gram? How can I drive them up that steep, snowy, slip­pery hill to school every morn­ing, espe­cially when I’m sup­posed to be in class? What about the chil­dren – won’t they feel lonely and alien­ated going to a new school? Should I really be here? I sadly express my con­cerns to Eleanor in the office. She is sym­pa­thetic but encour­ages me to keep going. Other par­tic­i­pants arrive and I have a sink­ing feel­ing that I’m out of my league. I try to keep an open mind and sus­pend judge­ment. Julie is here for the course too, and she helps us arrange the room. It’s homey.

The first day of school and the chil­dren are thrilled with it and love sleigh-riding down the hill afterward.

The evening before the YDC starts Swami Radha invites me to Many Man­sions. I come in from the dark black­ness out­side and she greets me and leads me to the Sun Room, her pri­vate sit­ting room and office. It’s the first time I’ve been in here and it is filled with light and warmth. She wel­comes me back, asks about the chil­dren, and then sits, twist­ing a Rubik’s Cube. She starts think­ing out loud of ways I could stay on at the Ashram. She says she has always known I would be here.
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